Maybe I'm high or maybe I'm just realizing

When I think that I no longer love you it is because I'm upset. Upset because I am so scared that my sadness will never wash away and that I'll end up drowning you with me, into my dark mind. I don't want to be so upset that I upset others and I cannot help being so upset. That's the worst part of it all, this sadness I do not want at all. I want to be happy and be normal and be able to focus on the good. I am a happy person with a broken soul. I am mending it like I would a broken arm, it must heal like all must heal with time. I will be better there will be a day where I will be genuinely good, genuinely happy and I will eternally be okay. This life is meant for me to teach a huge lesson: life is hard for everyone, we have what we need but we are still sad because our minds are broken open. We think too hard, analyze and we don't stop. I worry too much, I think way, way too much. I love you so fucking much, I never want to lose you. I felt like I was just the first and only that, a practice round that wouldn't last long unless we were lucky. But I loved you, I always loved you and I need you and needing someone scares me. I have to be happy without you just as I am happy with you. I will learn how to be and I always hope that you'll stay with me while my soul mends because I need you more than anyone else. You're my favorite thing in the world and you're all that matters to me. It's scary but I don't care I love you forever.